


Of Elle Woods and angels

by Storybelle



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas watches bad tv, Dean wants Cas' babies, Elle Woods - Freeform, How you doing?, M/M, cute Destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-14
Updated: 2013-07-14
Packaged: 2017-12-20 05:12:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/883336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storybelle/pseuds/Storybelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas doesn't sleep. There's really bad TV on at two in the morning. Dean does not know how to stop Cas from watching Legally blonde. There's also screwdrivers, Ruby's toasted corpse and Dean's innermost wish to have Cas' babies but really he's just too tired to explain any of that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Elle Woods and angels

Having a boyfriend who doesn’t sleep kind of sucks.

Dean is forever explaining that unless its life or death or his car is on fire, you don’t wake him.   
Cas doesn’t quite get that sleep is not only a necessity, Dean quite enjoys it. Just because there’s an apocalypse in the works doesn’t mean that Dean can’t lie in every once in a while. Last time he checked Michael and Lucifer needed their meat suits and besides, a tired hunter is as good as a dead one. Actually, a tired hunter nearly always ends up a dead one anyway.

But Cas is old and an angel and to be honest, only just getting used to the idea of other activities in bed. Although those he took to like a virginal duck to water but somehow sleep still eludes him. More than once he has woken Dean up to ask him why Dean deems this a useful way to spend his time but Dean just grumpily kicks him in the thigh – rather pointlessly as kicking Cas is a bit like hitting your foot against an immovable table leg made of concrete - and goes right back to sleep.

So Cas has found ways to spend his time while Dean dreams away the night. Dean doesn’t mind this so much as it means he can sleep uninterrupted without Cas bumbling around the motel room and knocking things over with his trench coat but sometimes there’s this ache as he settles down to go to sleep and there’s no kiss from Cas goodnight. He wishes sometimes that Cas did sleep, just so they could be like a normal couple. Dean would rather kiss Ruby’s extra fried crispy corpse than confess this to anyone but he sort of wants to wake up and see Cas half asleep, with his hair in disarray, wrapped in Dean’s arms.

So Cas goes on Daddy-searching trips or follows up on leads or finds hunts for the boys once they wake up which Dean approves of. At least he’s spending his time wisely. Of course, Dean would rather Cas takes off the coat and tie and cuddle in a badly lit motel room but again, he’d French the remains of a back-stabbing, brother-fucking, lying demon bitch before he’d ask Cas to do that. Cas would probably just tilt his head and look confused anyway.

After a while Cas confesses he misses Dean too much during these trips and would rather keep watch over the brothers while they sleep. Dean almost jumps for joy at this but outwardly he only smirks and suggests Cas try watching TV while he and Sam get some Zs.

That was a bad suggestion. Really bad. Almost as bad as the time he thought the truck stop waitress with the weird rash was a good idea.

But after the first night where Cas has no idea on how to even turn on the TV, it works fairly well. Dean falls asleep comforted by the fact that his angel is in the room, only a few feet away and Cas is so intrigued by bad early morning TV that Dean can sleep all night without being poked awake by a bored angel.

But then Dean really has to start questioning what Cas is watching. There’s probably a good reason why angels don’t watch TV in the first place.

When Cas asks a startled waitress “How you doin’?” Sam almost chokes on his coffee. It would sound bad from anyone but in Cas’ gravely tones it just sounds plain wrong. Dean slaps a hand over his boyfriend’s mouth, smiles at the poor girl and shoos her away. An hour later, his pancakes are soggy and Castiel still does not understand the point of pick up lines and how they differ from regular greetings. Dean stresses the point that you can’t copy lines from sitcoms and then changes his mind and tells Cas to not watch that show anymore. Cas tilts his head and says calmly “It seems to me that they were not really on a break. His actions were immature and selfish and should you ever try that, Dean, there will be repercussions.”

Dean wisely doesn’t reply that it seemed to him they were actually on a break and just nods obediently.

They’re investigating what looks like a haunted house as the occupants were killed inside a locked house when Cas asks if they should check for fingerprints. Dean restrains himself from slamming his head through the conservatory window – which ironically the ghost thought it would be fun to do with the four people who used to live in this house back when their skulls were in one piece – and just asked if he could go and help Sam with the research. Turns out the bitch was murdered by her uncle and buried in the foundations of the then under construction conservatory. Once the work was completed the uncle hurriedly moved away, leaving behind his niece’s remains and she decided to get revenge by throwing people through it.

Dean never liked conservatories anyway and now he likes procedural cop shows even less than he did before. 

A few days later they’re interviewing a witness in his garage. Dean had dutifully admired his Beemer, softening him up with manly bonding over engines and such before asking him about the supposed harpy he saw last week. They have an arrangement for these sorts of things. Sam talks to traumatised victims, Dean does the ‘bad cop’ interrogating and Cas stares at witnesses and makes them uncomfortable until they start to talk. So Cas usually hangs back and lets Dean take the lead, nosing around and checking that what the victim is saying is true until he’s needed. But this time Dean happens to catch sight of Cas holding a screwdriver and studying it intently. Without skipping a beat, places a hand over Cas’ and firmly removes the screwdriver. They got out of there pretty quickly after that because Mark Heller was starting to give them some pretty weird looks, especially after Cas tried to resonate the door or something with a damn screwdriver.

Dean adds sci-fi to the list and vows to keep Cas away from police call boxes just in case.

For the next few weeks Cas watches America’s next top model, Maury, Jaws, Teen Mom, Shallow Hal, South Park, Eastenders and some very questionable porn. Dean is no stranger to the adult film industry and even he has to wince when he wakes up and sees what Cas is watching. He advises Casa Erotica and if Cas is planning on watching that at all he should do it while Dean is awake. Castiel doesn’t quite understand that so Dean takes the tie off the bewildered angel, hangs it on the door and shows him what porn is useful for. Thankfully, this is one lesson that sinks in.

It’s late one night in April, somewhere in Utah, when Dean wakes up suddenly. He panics momentarily before he realises that it’s not due to a supernatural intruder, although there is a girl somewhere shrieking very loudly and shrilly. He blinks hard and then rubs his eyes. Struggling to sit up, he dimly registers that the voice is both not real and yet strangely familiar.

“Cas?” Dean croaks and then tries to clear his throat when he hears how rough he sounds. “Cas?” he tries again and when the sleep finally falls from his eyes he sees his boyfriend faintly lit by the flickering light of the crappy motel TV.

“Yes, Dean?” Cas asks without looking at him. Dean winces when he recognises what Cas is watching.

“Dude, why are you watching Legally Blonde?” Dean complains, trying to untangle himself from the sheets. As always, he’s managed to completely wrap himself up in them which he blames on the childlike belief that monsters will not attack you if you keep all limbs in the bed and under the covers. It’s not like demons are going to go ‘Well, he’s surrounded by an impenetrable force field of cotton, not much I can do here’ and leaves but much like a fear of the dark it’s hard to get rid of.

“It looked interesting,” Cas says simply. He hasn’t moved since Dean went to bed, settled in the threadbare armchair, fully dressed. He did take the tie off which Dean takes as a win, although it’s only taken about half a year to condition Cas to do that. Maybe in about another six years he’ll start removing the coat. “She wears a lot of pink.”

“She does,” Dean yawns, padding over to his boyfriend. He checks on Sam as he goes but apparently Elle Woods’ screams of frustration have not woken him. Lucky bastard. “Scoot.” Cas does, attempting to make room on the faded chair before Dean plops himself down on Cas’ lap. Cas tenses up, apparently momentarily uncomfortable, before he wraps an arm around Dean’s waist and another into Dean’s lap to hold his hand

“She is planning to go to law school for a…what’s that word you use?” Cas asks, still staring at the screen.

“Tool?” Dean suggests, trying to keep his eyes open. Cas makes a vague sound of agreement before waving their joined hands at the screen.

“Her friends think it’s an unwise endeavour too. Why is her self esteem based entirely on what that young man thinks?”

“Ah, insecure women. It used to be my bread and butter,” Dean smiles fondly before his mouth opens in a wide yawn again. Cas finally takes his eyes away from the television to look at his human lover.

“You’re tired. You should go back to bed,” Cas instructs firmly and pulls his hand out of Dean’s.

“No!” The word is ripped from Dean’s mouth before he can stop it. Cas frowns and across the room Sam grunts in his sleep, half stirring at his brother’s raised voice.

“I mean, can’t you come with me?” Dean says awkwardly. Castiel blinks in surprise, as usual not entirely understanding.

“But Dean, I do not sleep and you are tired. You need the proper amount of REM sleep or you won’t be able to function properly.” Dean almost groans. It’s too late for this. Having a boyfriend who doesn’t sleep sucks.

“I know but you could watch that still but just…in the bed with…me?” Dean feels pathetic and is vaguely aware that his voice has taken on an unattractive begging quality. If anyone asks, this did not happen because he doesn’t really want to mack with Ruby’s ashes. He didn’t even like her when she was alive. Although charred remains are an improvement. It’s a good look for her.

“Of course. Sharing a bed is a crucial part of bonding in a human relationship. Even if I do not sleep that doesn’t mean you should miss out,” Castiel says primly and Dean would be fairly certain he’s still asleep if it weren’t for Reese Witherspoon in a tight pink dress. Sure, Reese by herself would be welcome to make an appearance but if this was his dream then the bug eyed dog in the sweater vest wouldn’t be in the picture.

“Good,” Dean says blearily, a little bit stunned from getting what he wanted and how simple it was. Usually relationships aren’t this easy for him but it is Cas after all. If someone grips your soul and raises it from hell they’re going to understand you better than anyone ever could.

Dean allows himself to be led back to bed and slides under the covers while Cas toes off his shoes before climbing in beside Dean. He’s still wearing the trench coat but Dean doesn’t mind and wraps his fingers around it, feeling oddly safe. There are warm fingers in his hair and a pleasant spicy scent lulling him back to sleep.

So that’s how their new arrangement came about. As long as Cas takes off his shoes and climbs into bed and Dean can sleep with his head pressed comfortably against Cas’ chest, the hunter doesn’t give a shit about what Cas watches anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while back and finally got around to uploading it here.


End file.
